Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Why Am I so misundestood........

So if you follow this blog you know my story, Kids, Ex wife, Current wife that seems to be un amused by the life I lead. You know typical stuff.

But there's one constant, When they need stuff done who do they call? when they need a ticket to a show, when their friends need a guy, when the car needs a fixing or to be paid for who do they call?

I'm a hamster on a wheel.

And that's cool, that's my job. All I ask for in return is that all involved show good manners, Be respectful, Be good to mom and dad (and Step mom and dad) and spend time with your family from time to time.

I have good kids, But if you a new parent spend time with them when they are young because before you know it that little girl you love, The one that thinks you hung the moon. She will eventually find someone that is cooler than you. Its just the way the world rolls.

Here's what I cant and wont put up with, the Ex wife........this is what I get, Your jealous of her boyfriend! Oh that went over well, Her boyfriend is a good guy. She "thinks" he's cooler than me. Lets see how that works out.

Now here's my dilemma my ex and I are taking her to school in Nashville where she will prepare for some type of gig in music. She's going to have a blast, and she's going to grow  up quick. Wonder who's going get the call when she needs a hand in music city? The same guy who her Mom claims is jealous of her boyfriend.

I was "was" going to drive home with her mom just to keep her company, and I know she's gonna be a wreck because she's leaving her baby at school, But I'm not sure that's my Job. I wanted to be a good guy, But the fact of the matter is she's my ex wife and no matter how good we get along she still isn't a fan of me. This is going to be hard on Cheys mom.

I'm watching my dad fade away from Alzheimer's I'm north every other weekend keeping an eye on my parents, So while I feel separation from my kid and her new life, I'm slowly letting go of the guy who has always been my hero. My kids are my life, But my oldest is growing up and she's doing what she thinks is best for her. My mom once told me. You will always be able to come home. That's always been true of my mom and dad, no matter how much I f'ed up she would always leave the door open. (I have used that door more than a few times!)

Fact is this my daughter is immensely talented, caught between high school and Nashville. A town that sees very mature talented kids trying to be a star waiting on every table in every restaurant. She's got some surprises coming her way.

And when she needs a hand, Just like her mom (my ex) they will call me and I will be there to help, Its what I do, I'm the fixer, the helper, the dad.

I will always be there, and from the looks of it I will always be misunderstood!

Good luck parents!


  1. True Dat RR, the daughters I just brought home from the hospital the other day are now almost 14 and 17 .. and are ever so slowly drifting away from "dad". They grow up way too fast and are the older I get the faster the times seems to go.

    Spend whatever time you can with your dad as well, it won't be the same once they are gone.

  2. Hi Ray,
    First off let me say how sorry I am about your dad and his struggle with Alzheimers. We participate in a lot of awareness and raising funds for this awful disease. My husband has Parkinsons and we run a non profit foundation for research and awareness. Both diseases have some similarities so we have alot of contacts with alzheimers as well.
    I think its great that you have a good relationship with Cheyenne.
    I also have a blended family and know how hard it is to always do the right thing. I think you taking her down there is enough, and I would probably fly home and not make the "company" drive with my ex.
    Your daughter is fortunate to have such an involved dad. Treasure these moments, they go by too fast.

  3. Wow - feel for you Ray. Sorry to hear about your dad. Hugs.
    we're getting ready to take our daughter to school in about a couple weeks. My husbands already said he's getting ready for the waterworks. I cried when we dropped her at girl scout camp the first time and that was only a weeklong camp! In terms of the ex - I agree with the previous comment - fly home. My husband's ex was also a piece of work...we haven't had contact with the step kids for a number of years in part because of his ex. Be there for Cheyenne - she doesn't want to have to choose between mom + dad. Best of Luck to Cheyenne!

  4. she's usually pretty good to me. I don't get how the whole thing works. I think I will just sit back and be less active. Let them find their own way.


  5. Ray, I think this is the point you have to sit back and see what happens. You taught her well and it will truly begin to blossom and when it does you will sit back and say "I did something right" and you think you were proud before this is a feeling like no other. You are a great dad I can tell by your stories you share on air.

    I am sorry to hear about your Dad, like everyone says enjoy the time you have left and always keep the memories to share with the children, they will come to love them as the get older. Hugs to you and your family.

    Take Care.